Special thanks to Andy Simpson for writing this post
In the long, long ago, when I first started my college applications, I felt a little lost as to what exactly I was supposed to be doing.
What were colleges looking for from me?
Luckily, I’ve spent many, many years since then figuring those things out. And I’d love to share them with you.
Here’s what we’ll cover:
The differences between a college essay an English class essay
How to show who you are through what you value
Qualities of a strong college essay
Options for structuring a personal statement/college essay
Differences between a personal statement and supplemental essays
Is the college essay the same as an English class essay?
Nope.
A lot of the tools you’ve probably covered in English classes (like using transitions, building hooks, writing for clarity) will be useful.
But thinking of this as a typical 5 paragraph essay with the Intro/Thesis, 3-body, Conclusion/restate thesis … not so useful.
Here’s a graphic to show what I mean:
So … what is it then? What are they looking for?
Before I get to what they’re looking for, a couple more quick things that your college essay isn’t:
It’s not a resume, transcript, or list of achievements.
You’ve got things like the Activities List and Additional Info section for some of that. Let those things do some of the lifting.
Instead, I want you to think of your personal statement and other college essays as a way for colleges to get a sense of who you are through what values, qualities, and skills you’ve developed and will bring to their campus and community.
Show who you are through what you value.
To illustrate some of what I mean by the above, here are some brief About Me details:
Stanford undergrad, double major in Political Science (focus in Int'l Security) and Theater/Drama; sprinkling of Cosmology.
Oxford, studying Shakespeare and British/EU politics~16 years: College Application Consultant, Curriculum Writer
~6 Years: Adjunct Professor in Critical Thinking (logic and ethics); Poli Sci; IR; Anthropology of Media; English Comp
So, with those (very brief) details, how much do you feel like you know me?
I’m betting zero. Because those details are useful for some context concerning why I’m here talking to you about this today, but I don’t think they really tell you much about me.
So how can I, in the span of a few minutes, give you a sense of who I am?
One way—and to be clear, it’s not the only way, but we’ve found it’s an important and effective way—is to show you who I am through what I value, to show you the values that drive my actions, thoughts, relationships.
Why in the span of a few minutes?
Because that’s how long someone will tend to spend reading your college application.
For example, a friend of ours reads applications for the UC’s. He says that, when he gets into a rhythm, he can read through an entire application (essays, activities list, etc) in about 4-5 minutes.
I’m not bringing this up to evoke anxiety, but to set a frame—when you’re writing your college application, you want to do so in a way that conveys all the beautiful complexity of you in the span of a few minutes.
One of the clearest ways I know how to communicate that is through communicating values. And linking those values to specific thoughts, moments, actions.
One reason we like getting to do the work we do is that it offers us a chance to help people truly explore themselves in ways they aren’t often asked to.
And that can be scary in ways. But it is also empowering.
Our society doesn’t often, at least in my experience, ask us to really investigate how we came to think what we think, value what we value, believe what we believe. And to be blunt, I think that’s a huge failure on our society’s part. Because I think those questions are part of a well-lived life.
I think it’s useful to think of the college application process as one of exploration and discovery.
So, you’ll want to spend some time diving in and exploring your values. Luckily, I’ve got you covered here—the Values Exercise.
So values. Got it. Other important qualities they’re looking for?
Show Growth.
This can come in many different forms, but I love when an essay helps me see how a student has grown through their experiences. And including growth often nudges students to include some of the next quality I’ll discuss, because to show growth, we generally have to talk about how we were wrong, or didn’t know something, or had to develop X quality. In short, we have to get a little vulnerable. Speaking of which...
Get Personal/Vulnerable.
Vulnerability can be a scary thing for some people. Especially since we can be culturally trained to think of vulnerability as weakness (which it isn’t… I’d actually argue vulnerability takes a ton of strength).
But, again, we’re looking for a way to help a total stranger get to know us in the span of 5 minutes. And vulnerability is a great way to do so. When a student opens up some about their worries, fears, or difficulties, I feel closer to them. It feels like a gift—they’re bravely offering up a part of themselves. I feel like I know them, even if just a bit more.
Demonstrate Craft.
I’m going to stack a bunch of qualities under this broader heading, and discuss each one a bit.
Grammar and spelling
Really?
Yeah. Sorta.
Do remember that the people reading your college essay are also thinking about your readiness for college-level writing and work. That’s why things like grammar are important—a bunch of grammar and spelling errors may make them think you didn’t spend much time on this, and may not care too much. An error here or there isn’t going to be a big deal (students get into great schools with essays that have mistakes all the time). But be sure to take some time to show them you care about this thing.
2. Fluidity/facility with language
A couple quick thoughts here.
One is to write similarly to how you speak. You should be able to read your essay out loud and have it feel fluid and easy. Meaning it shouldn’t feel forced or overly formal or stilted.
A few things to keep in mind here.
First, don’t try to demonstrate facility with language by using “big words” just for the sake of using big words. That’s not what we mean here, because that doesn’t help you. In fact, it might hurt you.
Think of someone you know who uses big, shiny words not because they fit the context, but because they want you to be impressed. Are you actually impressed? Or kinda’ annoyed? (Or maybe even a lot annoyed?)
If I think someone is trying to use vocabulary not because it communicates clearly and effectively but instead because they think it will shift how I think of them, I’m not impressed by their intellect. Personally, I may even think less of them. (So I guess they are achieving their goal of shifting how I think of them. But I’d assume not in the way they were hoping for.)
For example, if I’m out with a friend, and that friend asks if I’d like to bifurcate a pizza, I’m not impressed. I may even question our friendship. (JK. Kinda’.)
But if that friend and I are discussing US policy during the Cold War, and they mention the bifurcated system of power … I barely even notice. The word fits the context, and flows right past, aiding in clarity.
Second, regarding “fluidity of language”: generally (with an important caveat in a minute) with a college essay, you should “write how you speak.” As in, you should be able to read your essay out loud and it should feel fluid (but without the usual umms and ahhs—like you’ve planned out what to say before speaking). For example, check out some of the sample essays here. None feel formal or stilted.
Here’s that important caveat: if English isn’t your first/primary language, then “write how you speak” can vary some, depending on how strong your English skills are. Essentially, show them that you’re ready to do college-level writing.
3. Verbs
This is a more focused point than a lot of the others I’m discussing, but one of the simplest, most useful lessons I ever learned about writing in English is that as go your verbs, so goes the rest of your writing. The more specific, precise, and evocative your verbs are, the stronger the rest of your writing around those verbs becomes.
Share Your Story
This can come in a few different forms, as your essay might be one bigger story about challenges you’ve faced (probably using Narrative Structure), or a few different stories showing different sides of who you are (using Montage Structure).
But either way, don’t tell them a story because you think it’s what they want to hear. Tell them about what matters to you, about what has shaped you.
A few important reminders:
Think from your reader’s perspective (for clarity, and for engagement—if you’d be bored, they probably will be too)
Linked to this, if possible, it’s a great idea to get feedback from someone with some experience with college essays, like a counselor or maybe a teacher.
Revise—some of the above qualities are things that will make it into your first draft. Sorta. But with pretty much all of them, you’ll improve by revising.
Don’t let a parent write/revise—admissions officers are really good at spotting this, and it will be the end of your application.
If you want to read more about this in some admissions officers’ own words, you can check this out.
Personal Statement vs Supplemental Essays
For the main personal statement, don’t read the prompts at first.
Wait...you’re saying ignore the prompt?
Yup. For the main statement, don’t worry about them.
As Brennan Barnard of The Derryfield School and Forbes put it, “The truth is, admission reviewers rarely know—or care—which prompt you are responding to. They are curious to discover what you choose to show them about who you are, what you value, and why.”
I’ve seen plenty of students who are stymied by the main statement prompts, or who try to fit their essays into boxes that don’t quite match, and thereby lose focus or voice.
One of the prompts is a catch all that effectively says, “Tell us about yourself.”
So for the personal statement, just dive in.
For supplements, on the other hand, DO read the prompts.
Schools have added their respective supplements because they’re hoping to learn some specific things about you. So try to show them those things.
Think of it this way: If you want to know more about me, and you ask me, “What are some of the things you love most about the outdoors?” and I respond by discussing America’s current trade policy with Canada… you’re probably not super-happy with my response. You’re kinda confused. And you may wonder if I’m ready for college-level work.
The latter points also apply to the UC PIQs—there, I find that the prompts are useful in helping to shape content, so while it’s useful to think expansively (“Leadership,” for example, can be shown in many ways…), do make sure what you’re writing still fits the box and helps you to check off the 14 points of comprehensive review. (As in, probably don’t write about a solo experience, then try to use it for the “Leadership” prompt.)
Looking for more on how to write a college essay? Check out our ultimate guide here.
